The Faint – Agenda Suicide

day 01 – your favorite song
day 02 – your least favorite song
day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

C oma White – Marilyn Manson (sorry can’t play it here, you have to go to youtube)

day 01 – your favorite song
day 02 – your least favorite song
day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

day 01 – your favorite song
day 02 – your least favorite song
day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

So today’s music Tuesday/ day 3 of 30 day song challenge is Hell by Tegan and Sara.

day 01 – your favorite song
day 02 – your least favorite song
day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

There are so many songs I could put here, but I will go with this one:

I think this is just a bad song in general, but it was made worse by the fact that it seemed like every girl wanted it to their and their boyfriend’s “song”. I guess the didn’t take the time to listen to what the song was talking about, lol. Now after seeing what this band looks like for the first time I hate this song/band on a whole new level.

Enjoy! err, well, please don’t enjoy!

day 01 – your favorite song
day 02 – your least favorite song
day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

It’s hard for me to think of a favorite song so I will just put the song that means the most to me.

Today was great though! Well, for the most part. I will itemize the good and the bad for you:

GOOD:

• Reached one of my short term weight goals.
• Got the lawn mowed.
• Fit into a shirt I haven’t been able to wear for a while.
• Went to my first therapy session.
• Went to Gulley Park to let Jonah play with his friend Micah and we had a blast.
• Walked around the mall a little with Jules and Jonah.
• Had pizza made with naan bread. YUMMY!
• Got to hear my son laugh so much and so hard from me running around the house acting like a turkey that lost his mind!
• Got to have a really nice dinner with Jules and watch definitely, maybe.

BAD:

• Missed turning in three assignments because I chose to spend time with my son today instead of having a very stressful day of trying to fit a weeks worth of reading in three classes into one day. Which has confirmed my decision to drop out of school until at least Jonah starts school.

This is a happy face, not a sad face.

Tomorrow will be a very stressful bad day as I try to complete a big project and play catch up so I don’t completely fail these classes…

If you like cheesy spicy rice you will like this:

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 can cheddar cheese soup
• 1 1/3 cans hot water
• 1/2 cup hot salsa
• 1 cup rice
• white onion (no exact measurement, more or less to your liking)
• Black olives (no exact measurement, more or less to your liking)
• Black Pepper (no exact measurement, more or less to your liking)

Make it:

Preheat your oven to 350°.

Slice and dice your onion and black olives.

Combine the ingredients in an oven-safe baking dish. I find it easier to mix the water, soup, and salsa in first and then add the rest of the ingredients.

This is how much black pepper I like to add.

Put a layer of foil between the dish and the lid of the dish to help lock in the moisture.

Bake it for 55 minutes. Don’t peek at it while it is cooking at all! After it is done baking remove it from the oven and let it sit for 10 minutes to finish cooking (still don’t peek).

Then remove the lid and foil and mix it up with a fork. (the onions and black olives like to float to the top)

Then you can come back here and thank me!

My rice was slightly under cooked again. I think next time I will boost the cook time a little. It is not so under cooked that you can’t eat it. Just a slight hardness to the rice…

This past week or so I have also been evaluating the things in my life that cause stress and unhappiness, and there have been a few things that I have identified that I am going to be changing.

First of all there is the people I let in my life. I mostly have control over who I decide to interact with, at least outside of work I do. So there are many people in my life that more often than not are not pleasant to interact with. So these people will be phased out of my life. I say phased out because I am not good at conflict and I couldn’t imagine telling someone I don’t want to associate with them anymore. Not that I haven’t indirectly done that before, but I would rather do a phased out approach.

Second is my weight. I have really high blood pressure and am also sick of being fat. I  have been doing really well at losing weight on the days that I work. I am not really on a diet I am just making smarter choices and being more aware of what I am eating. However, on the days I am off I have not been doing so well. We have a very busy/stressful life right now and so we often take the easy way out and pick poor food choices, but that stops now!

The final thing that I am going to be changing is the amount of time I am spending with my son. I do not spend near enough time with him. Not just because of work, but also because of school and all of my adult responsibilities. Plus when I do have time to spend with him I am usually stressing over school or am depressed about stuff or something else that takes me emotionally away from the situation. So I am looking at the things I can control in that situation and changing them. I am hoping that therapy will help me live more in the moment and not be stressing all the time, but I don’t really know what to expect from it. The one thing that I know I can control is school. I think that after this semester I will be taking an unknown amount of time off from school. Maybe forever, but maybe just till I can get my mental and emotional stuff worked out. All I know is that right now I am missing too much of Jonah growing up and I don’t want to look back and not remember all the amazing stuff that happens.

So that is what is going on with me right now.

Also today is probably one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time. I didn’t get all the homework I was supposed to do done and I didn’t mow the lawn, sorry neighbors, but I got to spend a lot of one on one time with Jonah and it was amazing. We didn’t do anything special, but sometimes all it takes is laying on the couch and letting him climb and roll around on you to make your day. He is such an incredible kid and I am so happy to have him in my life.